Patience- an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay
I received a text from a friend complimenting me on my patience the other day. Irony? Or just a compliment from God? Actually, I think neither. I Think my friend was just blindsided by the bribery of 4 cookies in 4 kids hands as I quickly tried to grab everything I could at the Farmer’s Market. Of course I looked patient and of course they looked happy……. chocolate chip cookies do it every time.
My lack of patience has been a problem ever since I was little. Some may say it’s a control problem. I beg to differ. Okay, maybe it’s a bit of both. When I was eight years old I was concerned that my parents wouldn’t plan my birthday party in the way I had envisioned. Not to mention they weren’t moving fast enough either! I mean eight was a big deal right? So to speed up the process, I recruited a neighborhood friend to do it. Because I didn’t want to plan my own? At least not admittedly. To add to it, we planned it as a surprise. My own surprise party, only I knew the time, place and when to be surprised. That’s a surprise party right?
Today, it goes a lot farther than an eight year old planning her own birthday party. A mother of two and a single one at that………..I have a lot to learn on patience. I have suffered the trial but I am not equipped for the what is next part. I want to take bold steps but at the same time, I want to shrink back. These unknown steps are also known as my life. I thought my life was how it was supposed to be. David and I married right out of college. I had my time in the professional world. Was thankful for the time I got to spend at home with my kids. We passed the newly wed stage, the new baby stage and even the seven-year itch…. not with flying colors, but we passed. My blue print of life was just like the eight year old Dana would expect… planned and seemingly just how I had envisioned. And then…..
Mommy, are we there yet? Mommy, are we there yet? How much longer? You said 5 min? We have 8 more hours? Why do we have to drive to get there? I have to pee? Wait…I have to pee again? I’m hungry? I’m thirsty? Are we there yet? Parker’s hitting me! Audrey said I am handsome and I don’t like that? Seriously! Mom…… why do we have to drive? Don’t most people fly? Are we closer?
My life times 25 on a 12 hour drive last week with the kids! It is safe to say…. I officially took my thoughts to a beach with blue sky’s and endless margaritas. Those moments of God’s Glory I wrote about?? My head was to the driver side window desperately looking!
I can’t help but chuckle……… Although I get frustrated with the lack of patience of a 4 and 6-year-old, I imagine I sound the same sometimes. Am I there yet God? This was your plan? We’re done right? There’s more!? How much more? This is getting really long… how much longer? Why do I have to go through this yucky stuff for the great stuff??? This kind of sucks:( How come no one else is going through this? What is the average time God you require of me to be patient? Its been 2 days…….. seriously……. can we get this show on the road? Hey God…I have an idea, how about I help you with this process?
I share with you my faith through suffering, I take steps in my faith, but I lack the one thing needed to do it………. trust. You see, my patience is dependent on my trust in God. Trusting what my next blue print of life for my kids and myself will look like. I know what I want for the kids and I, but it may not be what God wants. He may just remodel it a bit. And if he does want it, he is not moving as fast as the eight year old Dana would expect him to!
If I look back at all the times I questioned God and his non perfect timing in my book, I see it was nothing but perfect. Perfect, because through the wait, the frustration, the trials, he was perfecting my trust in him. He was changing me. David and I both agreed, through the trial of Cancer we became stronger for it, we loved others deeper because of it and we lived freely for it. For 33 years God has worked in my life for his glory. My patience? It is a process, it is a race of endurance of trust, and it doesn’t happen over night. It will be growing the next 33 years and then some.
Mommy, you know you are still a child! No I am not still a child guys, I am an adult and your mother. No mommy you are a child. Again, no I’m not. ( I am starting to sound like one, right?) Yes, mommy you are a child! You are because just like us, you are a child of God.
There is no doubt in my mind there are many times the spirit works through my kids in my life. How right? I will always be a child. And often my questioning, lack of patience and doubt can sound just like that of a child.
God……… Ok. I get it. I don’t know what’s to come. I am worried, I am fearful of more trails. There may be more, I am trying to understand that. But, I pray for my trust in you. That no matter what…………. it will be OK. We will be OK. You have carried us through before and you will carry us through again.
My prayer this week. We will understand not what it takes for patience, but instead what God is teaching us through it and his perfection of our souls because of it.
1. Whatever struggle in your life that requires patience and trust that you will find the ways you have changed because of it.
Romans 5: 3-4 More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope
2. Devote a time each day to pray for trust in whatever trial big or small you are going through. When you get anxious….pray. If you are angry and don’t want to pray reach out to a friend to pray for you.
Romans 12:12 Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer
So many pictures sent this week for Glory! Amazing! Had to pick a favorite! You all inspire me! Thank you for subscribing and sharing!
Taking Steps By Faith,