“Photography is a way of feeling, of touching, of loving. What you have caught on film is captured forever… It remembers little things, long after you have forgotten everything.”
— Aaron Siskind
This week we went to have our family photo’s taken. We have been lucky to have the same friend capture our journey the last five years. This time we went to the place were we first captured our family of four in Texas. Audrey remembered. She remembered the place her daddy threw her in the air and her favorite black lab licked her face. Right under the willow tree that still stands.
October is a month full of surprises for our family. The month David and I both shared our birthdays and now the month that we celebrate his heavenly birthday. This is the month I always choose to look back at memories and see just how far we have come.
Just like we raise our children differently, treat our marriages differently, communicate differently, each grieving journey is different.
After each post I am amazed at the stories that our sent to me. Many of you have suffered multiple losses. Many of you have lost children. Many of you have had unexpected death. Many of you have experienced divorce…that feels like death. Many of you are just starting your grieving journey. Many of you thought you were in the clear only to have it arise again.
If there is one thing I have learned in this, we are all different in how we handle it. There is no right way. We can’t compare our journeys, feel defeated, or feel prideful because how we are dealing, because there is no formula to this.
But, what we can count on is you are not alone. That grief is normal. Its what we do for a relationship of someone we loved.
I always measured my journey of grief by my faith. I thought the less I cried, the more I smiled, the stronger my faith. But, that was just an example of someone that didn’t need God. And just needed themselves. I didn’t understand that faith is not measured by the strength of my smile. But, faith is measured by the strength of my heart. Knowing that the weakest part of my life can be when I am strongest in my faith. Because, I see now. I see life differently. I see God’s faithfulness at moments when I was angry. When I didn’t trust. I didn’t understand. I see the valley he walks me through, not walk me around. I don’t see the gift of time, but instead the gift of the moment. I have faith in the story that is writing in my life. When I am on my knees and just don’t understand the brokeness of life around me, I see his promises. His promises of a life after this. Were there will be no mourning, no more sorrow. Revelation 21:4 ” He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death, or sorrow, or crying, or pain ”
There is a song that was shared with me, that I have shared with many and I now share with you. Each night when I put Parker to sleep he asks me to share a story with him. As I go through the stories of him as a baby, me as a child, his daddy and I when were were married and his sister and her goofiness, I love to see his eyes light up. It’s as if he thinks I am reading a book. But, what he doesn’t realize, it’s our story. And it’s still going. There is an author. He hears our cries, he carries us through, and the ending is one with a very happily ever after. I hope you listen to this and feel the peace I do. It is well…………….
Taking Steps By Faith,