Father’s Day we decided to release Balloons for David. Audrey was concerned that all the daddy’s would think the balloons were for them. So, we had to make sure to put David’s name on them to clarify! It was nice to wake up to the heart warming messages that day from all of you! When I went to buy the balloons, I got to experience a little shock value of my own. A lady walked by and said…..those must be for a baby shower! I could have done the right thing and saved her innocent question and leave it at that, but instead, I said…..Oh no……these are actually for my dead husband. Ok….I didn’t say it like that! Come on! I am not that bad! I instead said…….these are for my kids to send to their daddy who is in heaven this father’s day. But, the broken and saddened Dana wishes she would have said the other.
Father’s Day…………..let’s just say not the easiest! Christmas, Anniversaries, Birthdays, those have been a piece of cake compared to this day! Why? How? Father’s Day wasn’t about me. It was about a six-year-old daddy’s little girl and a 4-year-old spunky and tender-hearted boy.
So as a mom………with my first priority being my kids, I grieved for them….I grieved their loss. I don’t know if it was the fact that Audrey asked me a few days before …………Mom, who will walk me down the aisle when I get married? Since Daddy is in heaven? Or Parker telling me he will die before his wife. Because that is what Daddy did. To answer these questions that seem so simple in their hearts………..but so dark in mine can put a weight on any mom. As a parent….you want to solve their problems. You want to give answers for their hurt. My prayer, is that my words will be that of the Holy Spirit. That God will give them the wisdom to hear what they need to hear. This has been my prayer since last July when Popsicles was the only word that needed to be said for me to realize…..God’s got this! Yes………..Popsicles
A normal doctors appointment in Houston turned into a two-day stay in the ICU. Strong David who never experienced any side effects went from talking about our day to making no sense at all in a matter of minutes. We were rushed to the ER where I was told David was not going to recover. I mean come on lady…….this is Brain Cancer! You have been lucky so far! Not their words….but they didn’t need to say it for me to feel it. At that moment my thoughts went to the kids. They were expecting David home….they needed to hear him say I love you one more time! With a leap of faith, that David could make out those simple words, I called the kids and said … David tell them you love them. What I got instead………..Popsicles. Over and Over again….. David kept saying just that one word……Popsicles.
I was angry, I was upset………..in my heart thinking……….come on God……..give us this! Let David say I love you to them! Why would you do this to Audrey and Parker? On the other end of the phone I heard Audrey and Parker say with giggly voices………Hi Daddy! We love you too! Yes! We love you! We will see you when you get home! They made no mention of popsicles.…….and 48 hours later…David made a full recovery and was home saying the words I love you to them. And we ate popsicles. Just joking:) Not only that! From that weekend, friends created the Team Hurst Page that has grown to over 6,000 followers. God Wink???
So, as father’s day brought questions and concern from them….I held to the faith God will intervene when I have no words. Because in these situations, I am sometimes at a loss. Their faith journey, it’s just beginning. Although I hope that this will be the only suffering they will experience, I know it won’t. But, I also know, they will be stronger for it and have a deeper faith because of it. This blog, I don’t have the answers. I feel inadequate each time I open the bible, it’s like the first time. I am learning…I am growing…I am surrendering! What you get from this….what you hear……..that is in God’s hands, not mine! I am not perfect in this journey……..I am not perfect in my faith…………I am just finding who I am in the story that is God’s.
” I have made you and I will carry you, I will sustain you and I will rescue you,” Isaiah 46:4
Next week we will start the word challenge. I guess not really a challenge………..there are no prizes at the end……….besides you being a better person! I mean, come on……..who doesn’t want that?! One word…each week. Can you live it? Can you act on it? Can you spread it??? Scroll to bottom and Subscribe Here with your email!
Taking Steps of Faith,